The Departure
Before long, and after experiencing this "heaven" for a while, I was given the choice of staying there or returning to my life on Earth. As much as I would have liked to stay, I felt it wasn't my time yet and there may have been other considerations that I don't recall and never have. Whether it was totally my decision or not, I knew I had to go back to my life. Even though I departed from the "party of souls", the vision of the universe stayed with me and I became aware of trying to find my body. I seemed to be totally unconnected with my senses but aware that I was now laying on the lawn and couldn't move a muscle. I thought about opening my eyes but it was impossible and they would not respond no matter how hard I tried. It was as though I didn't know where they were. I decided that maybe the easiest thing to do to get oriented would be to move my finger. With a little struggle I was finally able to feel my finger moving. Then I tried my hand and got it to move too. With each muscle that I could move I became more and more in contact with my body and eventually I opened my eyes. My dog was laying next to me watching over me and I just laid there for a while looking up at the sky and the power lines overhead. With my consciousness I could still see in all directions as though the top of my head was wide open and the vision of the universe was still there. The view through my eyes was embedded in it and was like seeing a black and white television picture in the middle of a very colorful room. Before long I got up onto my feet and had no signs of injury or pain. I remember walking with my dog around the block and I remember how strange it was to have this vision and open consciousness with me as I did. I had never felt like this before knowing now what lied beyond the physical life and what awaited after death. I wondered if it would stay with me for the rest of my life. I was trying to recall the entire experience but was aware that much of what I had seen and heard was already forgotten and did not return with me. I knew I had found the answers to all of my questions but now they weren't there any more. I began thinking too much and started having doubts about where I had been. The more I began to doubt the more the vision faded from my consciousness until I could no longer hold onto it. I became depressed and alone and continued to sink deeper and deeper. I soon found myself in a place where I was all alone and nothing was happening and nothing was ever going to happen again. I felt nothing and nothing I could do would change anything. It was like being in a dark hole all alone and knowing that I was stuck there for eternity. Now, after seeing my heaven, I also knew my own hell and that I could end up in either place depending on what I did with the rest of my life. We may all share a common heaven, or maybe not, but I know for certain that we all may have our own private hell if we choose that path in life. I didn't want to be there but I couldn't find a way out. Nothing I could do made me feel anything and I felt I was dying of boredom. I took a sleeping pill and eventually went to sleep.
I spent the next year of my life trying to recall all I could about the experience and analyzing every part of it, trying to understand what had happened to me. I finally came to the conclusion that it had been real and had changed my life. I found that I was no longer searching for the meaning of life now and knew what I wanted to do. It was time to get on with my life in a new direction and that is what I did. I left the job I had had for 5 years and went into business for myself for the next 20 years. Unfortunately, the experience didn't help my financial position much but I did find I was happier with my life and at peace with myself.
In conclusion, I can only say that if you have ever had doubts about life after death, or God, or the human soul, you have only to die to end your doubts. Our souls, which are also our very consciousness, will live forever. The choices we make in life for good or evil will decide our fate at death. None of us really know when that day will come so we must be prepared everyday. In life, we can hide our shame and guilt from others but in death, if we cannot bare our souls to the universe and let everyone see inside us, then we cannot share in the love and join in the party of souls, and must hide alone in the shadows alone. Perhaps we will be given another chance and reincarnate into a new life and try again to get it right until we have learned our lesson. Life on Earth is but a blink of the eye in the life of the soul. Where do you want to spend eternity? It's up to you. Make everyday count while there is still time. These are the things that I now know to be true.
The Transition
The Unveiling
The Departure
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