ARTICLE I: You do not have the right to a new car, big screen tv or any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but no one is guaranteeing you anything.
ARTICLE II: You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone- not just you! You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion, ect., but don't try to take away the freedom of others to speak their mind.
ARTICLE III: You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful, do not expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all of your relatives wealthy.
ARTICLE IV: You do not have the right to free food and housing. Americans are the most charitable people to be found and will gladly help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after generation. of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of professional couch potatoes.
ARTICLE V: You do not have the right to free health care. That would be nice , but from the looks of public housing, we're just not interested in public health care. On the other hand, with the cost of private health care insurance plans becoming as unaffordable as the health care itself, perhaps free health care for ALL Americans is overdue and should be an American right.
ARTICLE VI: You do not have the right to physically harm other people . If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim, or kill someone, don't be surprised if the rest of us want to see you fry in the electric chair. Don't count of getting the same breach of justice that O. J. did. You probably can't afford his high priced lawyers to beat and cheat the system.
ARTICLE VII: You do not have the right to possessions of others . If you rob, cheat, or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don't be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a place where you still won't have the right to a big screen color tv or a life of leisure.
ARTICLE VIII: You don't have the right to demand that our children risk their lives in foreign wars to soothe your aching conscience. We hate oppressive governments and won't lift a finger to keep you from going to fight if you'd like. However, we do not enjoy parenting the entire world and do not want to spend so much of our time battling each and every little tyrant with a military uniform and a funny hat.
ARTICLE IX: You don't have the right to a job. All of us sure want all of you to have one and will gladly help you along in hard times , but we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of education and vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful.
ARTICLE X: You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American means that you have the right to pursue happiness-which by the way, is alot easier if your are unencumbered by an overabundance of idiotic laws created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights.
