On not only the coldest day of the year, but the coldest day in 50 years, 23 people were hospitalized for frostbite and hypothermia after be stuck in the snow while on their way to hear Al Gore deliver his speach on "Global Warming". Hey Al, we could use a little of that "Global Warming" right about now, what great timing! Warming and cooling cycles have been historically proven to be a natural event in Earth evolution. There is no scientific evidence that this fabricated theory by Al Gore has any connection with human activity on the planet. Al did not invent the internet, but he did invent "Global Warming". Later this year, Gore is expected to speak on his theory of "ocean boiling" caused by the extraction of oil from the Earth causing seawater to seep through pours in the mantle, left by oil extraction, and come in contact with molten magma. Reports of Gore's prediction that the oceans will boil within 100 years has not been confirmed. On the up side, this will solve the expected food shortage problem as freshly cooked fish will be washed ashore ready to eat. Perhaps this is just a part of the huge, right wing conspiracy that Hillary Clinton is known for inventing.

Democrat candidate, and Alfred E. Newman look-alike, Dennis Kucinich, has come up with a theory to explain Jet contrails (condensation trails). Contrails are caused by water vapor condensing on freezing jet wings and trailing off as ice particles. Kasinich believes these are actually "chemtrails" (chemical trails) in a new conspiracy by a shadow government to eliminate 70 million people from the United States by spraying them with a bio-chemical poison. These "chemtrails" as Kucinich calls them are sprayed from nozzles installed on jets, and activated while flying across the country to assure an even distribution of the chemical from coast to coast. When jet's are seen in the sky without leaving contrails, they are said to be simply not "spraying" at that time. (Are you laughing yet?) Photos and an Arizona resident's report of this bazaar conspiracy is currently on Jeff Rense's liberal website, Rense.com. It describes how in the period of 3 hours, this "spray" has completely covered the town of Yuma Arizona with a potentially lethal poison which the photos clearly show are actually high cyrus clouds moving in and eventually hiding the contrails. Oh, it's also reported that one can avoid death from this poison by eating carrots. Is Kucinich, by any chance, a carrot farmer? According to talk show host, Jan Mickelson in Iowa; "The Communist Party of America on their Web site a few weeks ago said that they were not going to field a candidate this year because they were adequately represented by Kucinich,"

Under pressure from other democrats, Howard Dean has unsealed 90% of his records as Governor of Vermont, but it still keeping some secrets. Among those secrets is at least one or two letters, likely leaked by the Clinton Library, and written to then President Clinton by Dean. A new letter that has surfaced shows that in 1995, Howard Dean urged the Clinton administration to do just what Dean is chastising the Bush administration for doing now. "I have reluctantly concluded, " he stated in the letter, "that the efforts of the U.N. and NATO in Bosnia are a complete failure ... If we ignore these behaviors ... our moral fiber as a people becomes weakened ... We must take unilateral action." He continued, "As the Catholic Church and others lost credibility during the Holocaust for not speaking out, so will the U.S. lose credibility." Dean went on to urge President Clinton to invade and attack Bosnia without international support. So what's the difference between Bosnia then and Iraq now? Were the human rights violations in Bosnia any worse than what Saddam was doing to his people? Was Bosnia an eminent threat to the US? Or is this reversal of Dean’s position only because the President now has an “R” after his name instead of a “D”? Dean is not alone…

Current statements and views expressed by Gen. Wesley Clark are so contradictory to his previous views that some are calling him “Dr. Strangelove” in an article by Matt Drudge on his website. Clark has been campaigning as an anti-war candidate in an effort to appeal to the far left, and claims "I've been very consistent... I've been against this war from the beginning", yet on September 26, 2002 Clark told Congress "There's no requirement to have any doctrine here. I mean this is simply a longstanding right of the United States and other nations to take the actions they deem necessary in their self defense". He also stated "There's no question that Saddam Hussein is a threat... Yes, he has chemical and biological weapons. He's had those for a long time. But the United States right now is on a very much different defensive posture than we were before September 11th of 2001... He is, as far as we know, actively pursuing nuclear capabilities, though he doesn't have nuclear warheads yet. If he were to acquire nuclear weapons, I think our friends in the region would face greatly increased risks as would we." Then on April 10, 2003 Clark wrote "President Bush and Tony Blair should be proud of their resolve in the face of so much doubt." Does this sound like Gen. “Strangelove” Clark has always opposed the war in Iraq? Until recently, he had good reasons for supporting it, now he tries to find reasons for opposing it. This man is a “one man debate club”. These people can’t be trusted with our national security.

John F’ing Kerry is continuing with his distortions and "hate Bush" rhetoric when he's not busy singing with Peter Yarro of "Peter, Paul, and Mary", and toking on an imaginary marijuana joint. It's not known whether or not he inhaled the imaginary smoke. His joint was about as real as his accusations about President Bush. It's been rumored that Kerry has enroled in a chef's class to learn how to flip pancakes. Maybe he should have done that before trying it in front of a small crowd and media cameras in Iowa. Hey John, maybe you should get yourself one of those "Perfect Pancake" pancake makers as seen on tv. I wonder if his rifle skills in the Navy were really any better when he had his one opportunity to fire on Vietnamese from a gunboat on the Macon Delta. An event he recreated for the cameras to show his friends and family what a war hero he was in spite of what they thought of him.

While visiting his niece, an elderly man had a heart attack. The woman drove wildly to get him to the emergency room. After what seemed like a very long wait, the E.R. doctor appeared, wearing his scrubs and a long face. Sadly, he said, "I'm afraid that your uncle's brain is dead, but his heart is still beating." "Oh, dear," cried the woman, her hands clasped against her cheeks with shock, "We've never had a liberal in the family before!"

President Bush is not going to get away without a mention here either. He recently met with his good friend, Mexico’s President Vicente Fox to see what he could do to help him. He did not agree to Fox’s wishes that all of North America become one union so Mexico could get a bigger share of US wealth, but he did submit an immigration reform bill to Congress. In the bill, Bush calls for a workers program for illegal Mexican immigrants. The point is being promoted that we need these illegals to pick lettuce and other farm products, and similar work that American citizens don’t want to do. Illegal immigrants could register for a 3 year stay, then go back home. There are just a few things I find missing from this bill.

Where is the provision to deport other illegals who are not enrolled in the program? Where is the enforcement of federal law regarding border security and stopping the flood of illegals sneaking across the border? Where is the assurance that enrollees in the program will go back to Mexico when their three years is up? Why would any illegal immigrant want to enroll in this program and be registered with the government when they can have the same benefits without restrictions, stay here forever, and break our laws without fear of being sent back to Mexico? Why aren’t these jobs being offered to legal immigrants while waiting for legal citizenship? How is this reform going to help American citizens and our country? It’s merely going to attract more illegals, cost US citizens more money, and make our borders even less secure than they are now. What’s to prevent terrorist from coming across the Mexican border with the Mexican illegals?

The whole point of allowing illegals, and this program, is to keep the price of farm goods down by using cheap labor in the fields and other areas. This is a “half baked” concept at best. It’s true that if farmers had to pay minimum wage rates for farm workers, the price of their goods would go up substantially. On the other hand, as long as they have this cheap source of labor, there is no incentive to mechanize and use American created technology to harvest their farms. Replacing cheap labor with modern farm equipment would support the jobs that American citizens do and help our country’s job market and economy. Mexico’s primary source of income is the United States, much of it is gained illegally. Fox also wants his citizens to be covered by American health care and be paid for by us. Why does Bush have this love affair with Vicente Fox? What do we gain from Mexico in return? An ally who won’t support us in the war on terror and our national security? Mexico is nothing more than a parasite on the United States that we can’t afford any more. Bush gets the blame and the Shmuck Award for this one. I have another “Shmuck Award” for him as well regarding his tolerance for Liberal spending in Congress and inability to say “no” to the Democrats on budget issues. I’ll save that, and other comments on how Bush is betraying the Conservatives who put him in office for another article.